There's A Cow In My Lane

Saying Goodbye to Blogger

2011-01-02T23:02:00.001-08:00

We hope your Christmas was blessed and that your new year has started off in just the way you wished. We've enjoyed having J's mom and dad here with us for the last two weeks. Our Christmas was, of course, thoroughly non-American but it was sweet nonetheless, and we experienced joy as we contemplated the birth of Jesus with our loved ones.

J's parents leave us on January 8th and we'll be sad. But we're so very happy that they got to live our lives for three weeks and experience what we do. Such understanding is, for us, invaluable. It's just good to know that our families "get it."

Well, it's a new year. I want this year to be better than the last for my family. I want to spend more intentional time with them and live more in the moment--not always an easy thing for me to do. And then there's the reality that each day has only so many hours in it and I have only so much energy to expend. I want to live my life to the fullest this year and choose joy.

To that end, I've decided that I'm going to refrain from writing about our lives for quite some time, maybe for always. Writing is a hobby of mine but it requires me to finely comb my daily experiences for meaning and merit. It means that I have to be the scientist in the lab, straining into the microscope as he attempts to name and conquer. And you know what? That might be ok for me to do someday, but not now. Not this year.

This year my life--our lives--are going to be private. We're going to laugh a lot, work hard, love God and people (by His grace) and do a lot more than hang on by the seat of our pants. We're going to have hard times if the last two years are any indication of the future. But we're going to be more than conquerors.

Most of you all know our e-mail address and many of you already get our family newsletter. We'll be in touch. In the meantime, I'm going to be too busy living my life to write about it. Love to all of you and Happy New Year.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-10T02:46:00.000-08:00

If something really interesting or noteworthy happens between now and Christmas, I may just have to blog about it. But if not, we pray that this season will be the most meaningful, the most real, the most life-changing one you've ever had. And may you (and we) pass on the reason for our hope to someone else this Christmas. Love to all of you.

Our Crazy, Cozy Indian Living Room

2010-12-09T04:17:00.000-08:00

A Good Reminder

2010-12-08T00:22:00.000-08:00

"People are not easily divided into saints and sinners. Most of them are more complicated and more interesting, a mixture of strengths, weaknesses, insights, and blind spots. If you demand perfection, you'll be disappointed. If you decide to only listen to perfect people, you'll find that you are pretty much on your own."

--Charles Sykes in 50 Rules Kids Won't Learn in School

Good Times

2010-12-06T22:24:00.000-08:00

We're back from our trip to one of our favorite cities. We celebrated C's birthday, ate American food, visited with friends, and had a great time. Oh, and I got six inches cut off of my hair. It was a very successful trip. We are now exhausted and walking around like the undead. But we're putting up our tree, cleaning the apartment, and getting ready to see Mamaw and Papaw in two weeks!!

Radical

2010-12-05T20:26:00.000-08:00

Living in a staggeringly poor country is a hard thing. You never, ever forget that you are among the richest in the world, existing among those who have next-to-nothing. You want to help, to do something, all the time--to stop the bleeding and make things better. And sometimes you do something that actually makes a small difference and then something washes over you and you feel genuinely happy for a moment or two.

I haven't read David Platt's by-now-famous book "Radical." I know many people love it, are challenged by it, shaken up and made crazy by it. And from what I know, I agree with Platt's stance that the western church needs to be totally different from what she is now,and that we all need to be turned on our heads. We need to be ridiculously generous and give of our wealth until it makes other people nervous.

But I read an excerpt of a review of "Radical" today, by Kevin DeYoung and I think he makes a very important point. It's a point that rings true all the more for me since I live in a land marked by government corruption, graft, backroom deals, and a belief that upward mobility is not the right of every kind of person, only some kinds.

He states:

"The Christian needs to be generous, but generous charity is not the answer to the world’s most pressing problems of hunger, inadequate medical care, and grinding poverty. Wealth is created in places where the rule of law is upheld, property rights are secured, people are free to be entrepreneurs, and there is sufficient social capital to encourage risk-taking. We can and should do good with our giving. But we must not lead people to believe that most of human suffering would be alleviated if we simply gave more."

So today, when I go to McDonald's and I save some of my food to give to the little professional beggars waiting outside, I'll do it because that's what Jesus would have done, and I'll tell them why I'm doing it, and that he loves them. I'll rest in that and I'll feel his smile. But I won't believe that I'm saving the world.

Because only he can do that.

Happy Birthday, C!

2010-12-05T02:39:00.000-08:00

The last eight years have been the greatest, little man.

Fun with Friends

2010-12-04T04:31:00.000-08:00

Our boys love their friend, Abishek.

He Did It Again

2010-12-01T05:21:00.000-08:00

C pulled his own tooth. Isn't he cute? All he wants for Christmas...

Fellowship and KFC

2010-11-30T04:33:00.000-08:00

We're enjoying a few days with a dear friend here. She's staying with us in our cold, cold apartment. Since we're so isolated in our current lives, we forget how fun and refreshing it is to have like-minded guests--people who 'get' us and can laugh at the same jokes and love the same movies. It's a blessing.

We'll all go together to her city on Thursday night (via the night train) and visit more friends there. It should be great fun. Not to mention the fact that KFC and Subway have opened up restaurants there. That, folks, is unheard-of awesomeness. I love the fact that Colonel Sanders has made an appearance in our neck of the woods.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-29T06:17:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We hope you did too. We have much for which to thank Him.

The Kids and Other News

2010-11-20T05:05:00.000-08:00

The kids, looking...special. They are our joy and our undoing.

On Monday we'll be traveling to a nearby wildlife preserve to spend Thanksgiving with people who work in our company--people who have become dear friends, who have our backs when we need it, and who understand this ex-pat life. I need this time with like-minded friends...I won't be blogging for a few days, but we will take pictures. We'll post them soon. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and hold your loved ones close.

Let it Snow

2010-11-19T02:54:00.000-08:00

There is nothing like Daddy coming home after a week of intense work. Tonight is the night and we are ready. Oh, and it snowed a little today. What could be better? You'd think Santa himself had shown up for how excited my kids were (well, and the monkeys for that matter). D said, "Oh now I can finally say I've seen snow." It was merely a dusting and I, for one, am hoping for more than that when J's parents come and visit for Christmas. Although that does mean very cold weather and all we have is space heaters...Ok, on second thought, maybe a dusting is fine...

Ivneet

2010-11-18T00:35:00.000-08:00

This woman lives in my building. She's my age, has two young sons, and seems to enjoy our conversations. We have a budding friendship, and it works better for peers to have open, frank discussions here than when one person is much older than the other. Although I love this girl's mother-in-law and aunt (I've written about my landladies previously), she is who I believe He has placed in my path for a deeper relationship. Would you lift her up? She's intelligent, sweet and a wonderful mom. But she's also timid, fearful, and insecure. Most of all, she doesn't know the One who loves her. I want to do right by this relationship. It's a day-in, day-out proposition. I'm inconsistent and frail. But greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world. That's what I'm hanging my hat on today.

In the Moment

2010-11-17T00:31:00.000-08:00

I've said it before: a busy life equals a boring blog. I'm hunkered down here, teaching the kids, trying to keep my temper and to press on. It takes everything I've got, and lots more that I don't. It means that I can't even think about two hours from now.

I read a study recently that strongly suggests that humans are the happiest when they focus on the task in front of them--that, strangely, the more they allow their minds to wander (even if their thoughts are pleasant ones) the further their happiness quotient plummets.

It's part of the human condition to daydream, to take what I call mental 'screen saver' breaks. But it would seem that to be satisfied one should practice being present in his or her daily tasks. And so I suppose I'm trying to be 'here' this week and not on a beach with my sisters. Which is to say, not on auto-pilot. It's surprisingly hard for me which means I probably should have been practicing it ages ago.

So there you have it. I'm present in the moment, and that means I can't remember my kids' funnies ten minutes ago, or recall the deep thoughts I had as I was trying to fall asleep last night. But that's gonna have to be ok for now. Because the kids are calling me...

Because a Picture...

2010-11-14T03:07:00.000-08:00

You can't know how much I mean it...

Coming Soon

2010-11-12T03:13:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to let you all know that our 2011 calendars of this region will be going to print next week. They've turned out really well and we're very pleased. If you're interested in getting one (or more) and you live in the Bowling Green or Danville areas (or I've spoken to you personally) be sure to pick one up. My mom will be handling the Bowling Green shipment and J's mom the Danville one. Other people are receiving them in different areas around the country. If you live near them and are interested, they'll let you know more...

Oh! One more thing. I have a shipment of the sweetest little baby sweaters that are soon to arrive in Bowling Green. My landlady knits them and they are precious! Perfect Christmas gifts for new moms. Again, they'll be in Bowling Green. Talk to my mom or message her on Facebook.

Smiling in Hindi

2010-11-11T02:50:00.001-08:00

J is back. Here are some village kids he met this time.

Weirdo

2010-11-10T02:36:00.000-08:00

We've been listening to i-Tunes radio these days. It's Christmas music or bust, baby. We need the extra cheer around here. I'll admit that I've even been working out to it. (Strange-but-true fact: working out to the Hallelujah Chorus almost made me cry today, in a good way).

But I digress.

G came into my bedroom this afternoon and that old, weird version of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus came on the radio. The one where the woman is trying to sound like a little kid, but instead sounds like she's been at the helium pump again. Anyway, G's head snapped to attention and she was clearly disturbed.

G: Mom, what...is that? Is that a castrato?

(Another strange-but-true fact: G is deathly afraid of medieval men who have been castrated so that they sing soprano...)

Me (suppressing laughter unsuccessfully): No, sweetie. That's a woman trying to sound like a little kid.

G: Well, you know something? That doesn't sound like a little kid, Mom. That lady sounds like a weirdo.

And there you have it. That girl calls it as she sees it, folks.

Goodness

2010-11-09T03:25:00.001-08:00

Maybe you know this already. Or maybe you don't. But I've just got to tell you from personal experience: God is faithful. All the time. I can't go into everything right now, but I just wanted to testify to his undeserved, lavish, sweet, unfailing goodness.

Selah.

Request

2010-11-08T04:03:00.000-08:00

This is G. He's the young man J shared with in the car last week. Would you lift him up?

Traffic

2010-11-06T04:54:00.000-07:00

J drove behind this "vehicle" today. You just never know...

Happy Diwali From Us To You

2010-11-05T11:29:00.000-07:00

Remember

2010-11-04T03:15:00.000-07:00

Please don't forget to lift up the little ones of our country.

Next Door Neighbor

2010-11-03T02:43:00.000-07:00

We see these guys all the time.

Absurd

2010-11-01T06:46:00.001-07:00

My son is smart. All my kids are smart, but that middle kid is strangely smart. He's seven and has read Huck Finn in its entirety. I quizzed him about the main point of the story, and he got it. Anyway, he's always coming out with wry sentiments. He'll utter deep thoughts, replete with seven-dollar words (inflation, you know) and sigh like a sage. He'll knit his brows together, shaking his head, vaguely displeased with the world.

I'm used to all this by now. So why do I still laugh when I hear things like this?

Me: Kids, I'm sorry the power is out again. Family game night is going to have to be a game of cards by flashlight.

Middle Son: Ah, India. Absurd. Absurd and sublime.

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

My New Baby

2010-10-31T07:46:00.000-07:00

After not working out for 18 months, I attempted it today. I only made it for 20 deadly minutes. I almost threw up, but in my defense, I've never worked out at 7,000 feet above sea level before. Hint: it's hard.

The Right Time

2010-10-29T04:53:00.000-07:00

J comes home on Saturday evening. It could not come soon enough. We've had a tough week here without him, but we've survived and even ended on an up note. I'm thankful.

A quick request: On the way back to our city, J will spend eight hours in the car with our landlord's young, unmarried son. He's 23 and very warm and personable. It'll be the perfect opportunity for J to share his testimony with Gorev. Would you pray on your Friday night for J to have the right words to say and that the HS would work? That'll be when it's going on for us.

Love.

It's So True

2010-10-28T05:34:00.000-07:00

"Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans."
--John Lennon

True Confessions

2010-10-27T00:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was worn out. J isn't here, I'm homeschooling doggedly, it's cold in the house and we've had no hot water. So when I dragged myself downstairs to talk with the young mother who lives in our building, I was in a, uh, candid mood. She asked me how I was doing. She's like a little bird, that lady. I almost expect her to cock her head to one side like a robin as she quizzes me amidst chirps.

And how did I answer her, this woman for whom English is a second language? I said, "Um, you know what? I'm really tired because I don't sleep well when J is gone. But the real issue is that I struggle with depression. Now I do have a deep inner peace that comes from the Lord. When I pray and spend time in the Bible I know that everything is going to be ok. But in the end, this is something I battle with--this abiding blueness. It sneaks up on me sometimes before I know what hit me. So...you know..."

And she turned her bird head to look into my eyes a bit better. I could tell she didn't really understand. She asked many questions like Did something sad happen to you? If you are with your husband is it ok? Perhaps will going out into the city help? And when I answered that this is a brain chemistry thing that started in high school and runs in our family, she remained slightly perplexed.

But her eyes were soft and kind and she muttered that she's sometimes depressed too...

I attempt transparency when I'm brave enough. Sometimes the truth comes out, shoving it's way out of my mouth before I have a chance to check it. There are times when I'm ok with that. But here in the gauntlet of cultural difference and ambiguity, I never know if I'm doing more harm than good with my true confessions. Would you pray that my honesty will bring about more important conversations in the future? That my blurting of personal struggles will take one more brick out of the wall between me and my friends for His sake?

Thanks.

Our Town

2010-10-26T03:19:00.000-07:00

Between myriad religious festivals and the fall carnival (ride at your own risk) it's a lively time of year, to say the least.

Boring Blog

2010-10-25T04:29:00.000-07:00

I'm just missing J. Sigh. That's all. Boooooooring.

Ode to the Over-share

2010-10-24T02:21:00.001-07:00

Ok, I'm back. It wasn't as tough as I thought for me to mind my own business. It was kind-of liberating, actually, to keep my kids' funnies to myself. But we know that all good things must come to an end, right? So here's to over-sharing.

Invisible Idols

2010-10-18T08:48:00.001-07:00

I'm taking a Facebook fast for a week and I thought I better take a blog fast too. I've been surrounded by literal idol worship lately, but the thing I've been convicted of is that I have some personal, invisible idols of my own. I don't want to worship technology, so I'm letting it go for a few days. You know, to prove to myself that I can live without it.

I'll see you in a week...

What Do You Think?

2010-10-16T22:36:00.000-07:00

Family members...

The Reason

2010-10-16T03:45:00.000-07:00

Vegas in India

2010-10-15T03:12:00.000-07:00

Today, as I was blow-drying my hair, I overheard my kids playing on my bed:

G: Hit me.

Oldest Son: Deal me in too.

Middle Son: I'm standing.

G: Blackjack!

Um, someone's husband must have taught her kids how to play cards 'cause that someone knows she didn't do it.

A Fish Out of Water

2010-10-14T06:52:00.000-07:00

This afternoon the kids and I went downstairs to give a little face time to the women in our building and to get some fresh air. As soon as I sat down, one of the daughters-in-law who's close to my age asked me if I'd like to go with her and her kids to visit the 'swings' in town. To be clear, these aren't park swings. They're part of a rickety fairground that appears in the fall and remains until the weather gets too cold. I figured it would be a good time for the kids and a chance to build on my relationship with this particularly gentle and sweet woman.

While we were there two little beggar boys came up to me. As usual they saw my white face and thought I'd be good for a few rupees. My Indian friend warned me, "Don't give them anything. You really shouldn't." Now, if she hadn't been standing there I might have caved and slipped them some cash. The truth is, that's looked down-upon here and isn't considered helpful for anyone. (Actually, it's against the law to give to beggars since begging is illegal). But the real kicker was that I'd just seen both boys eating ice cream, and one of them had cotton candy in his hand! He didn't think I could speak Hindi and he kept telling me he needed food.

The ride operator who was standing by started to laugh when I answered the kid in Hindi. "Now listen, sweetie...I just saw you eating ice-cream and what's that in your hand right now, huh? I don't have food for you and you shouldn't ask me. You already ate. Now go." I was gentle but firm. The ride operator asked my friend, "She speaks Hindi?" The little boy seemed to sense that I wouldn't kick or shove him away the way someone who was born here would, so he stood very close to me--almost snuggling up and kept asking with a twinkle in his eye...He touched my arm and stuck out his bottom lip in a mock pout. I laid my hand on his shoulder and he felt so small, like one of my own kids.

I kept refusing and he followed us, asking our kids for money as well, as by this time it had turned into a game for him. Finally he left, still smiling and clearly not hungry. But the truth is I wanted to hug him and ask him his name, and make life better for him. People were staring at me and I hate that. I feel like a fish out of water here every single day of my life. Sometimes it's more pronounced than at other times but it's always there. This knowledge that I don't belong never goes away...

Highlights

2010-10-13T03:36:00.000-07:00

After teaching a class yesterday, J played four games of volleyball with his Indian students (all 20-somethings). He dominated, as you might imagine. Smile.
A stray, but friendly little dog managed to get inside our landlord's apartment on the bottom floor. The whole family was in an uproar and seemed scared of it. They squealed and yelled in Hindi and tried to kick it...So I promptly went in, crouched down and spoke to the dog, picked him up, and escorted him out of the house. They laughed incredulously and stared at me as if I'd just walked on water. Dolly said, affectionately, "You are a friend to everybody." (A lovely, if untrue, thought. I suppose she thinks this carries over to dogs as well...)
The kids got invited to our Muslim neighbor's house next door. This is a big deal and it's the first time it's happened. They've all played outside many times, but to be invited in is a bird of a different feather.
Today was the third straight day of homeschooling with a full load of subjects where I didn't feel like completely giving up. And that, friends, is something.

Greater Love

2010-10-12T04:56:00.000-07:00

J is gone again for a couple of days. Whenever he goes I count on D more than usual. I asked her tonight if she'd walk down to the corner store and get me some Cokes. I added that I didn't really need them. I just wanted them and if she didn't mind one way or the other, could she get them?

She smiled shyly and said, "I would get anything for you." I didn't know what to say. She loves us like I'm not sure we've been loved before. Of course the feeling is mutual, but we have lots of friends and extended family and she doesn't. We are her family now.

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. Jn 15:13

Mountain People

2010-10-11T03:10:00.000-07:00

I'm reading Silas House's novels these days. His depictions of the mountain people of Kentucky are subtle, heartfelt and spot-on. Reading his prose (which is more like love poetry to his people) is like wiggling a loose tooth. It aches, but it's the good kind of sore-pain that I find myself going back to again and again.

I love my Kentucky heritage and Silas House's writing feels like he's whispering a secret only he and I know. What surprised me the most about his take on mountain people is how much in common they share with the mountain people of India. We all suspect that, deep down, people are pretty much the same everywhere. But it's always slightly shocking to find familiar traces closer to the surface.

If only I were a doctoral student I might make it my thesis. Hmmm...

The Wizard of Oz

2010-10-10T04:32:00.000-07:00

After our family worship time today, we ordered chicken from a local restaurant (a special treat) and then piled on our bed to watch the classic film The Wizard of Oz. We invited D to join us and she happily agreed. Now D was born in Nepal and raised in India, and the girl cut her teeth on Bollywood films. In fact, she still loves them with a passion and can recite many a line from this Hindi film and that one. I was mildly interested to see what her reaction to Dorothy and Toto would be since she'd never seen the famous American movie.

Well, in short, she loved it. And I guess it's no wonder, really. Bollywood is all about color, improbable plot twists, infinite costume changes, and big song-and-dance numbers. So the man in a lion suit, the glittering red shoes, and flying monkeys were...strangely familiar, in a corn-fed, Midwestern way. She seemed to get it, which made me unexpectedly happy.

Maybe that's because it's nice when someone understands a piece of your history, a little glimpse into the culture that shaped you. After all, as Dorothy says, There's no place like home.

Sweet Peach

2010-10-09T01:55:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, my sweet middle sister. You have been my friend for longer than I can remember. My constant companion in adulthood and that sweet, scary adventure we call motherhood. We've watched each other change and grow. But I'll never outgrow you, Satch. I just wanted you to know.

I Was Right

2010-10-08T02:42:00.000-07:00

Remember when I said birthday decorations here look like toilet paper? And you thought I was being mean and judgemental? Well, this is pink toilet paper. So see, I was right. So there.

M.O.P.S. for Monkeys

2010-10-07T02:20:00.000-07:00

Enjoying one another's company.

Mother love.

Nursing.

As we started our family devotional time today, we heard a commotion out on our front porch. Turns out some moms with babies had decided to stop by.

Wapas Aiya

2010-10-06T05:12:00.000-07:00

J is back home, tired and happy. The kids are downstairs playing with the neighborhood kids. I just ate razma (a favorite of mine) and I hear D laughing from the kitchen. Good times.

Time

2010-10-05T03:45:00.000-07:00

J called last night and things where he is right now are, quite simply, better than we could have imagined. Hungry people are being fed, those who've been fed are feeding others, and, well, things are happening. For the kids and me, the weather is sunny and cool and we've had no daddy-is-gone catastrophes. There are many things for which to be thankful...

In honor of beautiful days everywhere, we decided to do math out on our front porch this afternoon. The wind ruffled our workbook pages and the clouds made shadows on their bright white surfaces. We added and subtracted to the hum of woman-chatter, far-off car horns, and carpet sellers' songs as they hawked their wares on the front path beneath us. We let our eyes wander off multiplication tables to watch a grandmother tend a baby, and a monkey leap off a high tree and on to a roof.

We took the time to ponder and it was good.

Bread

2010-10-04T00:04:00.000-07:00

J travels for the next couple of days. He leaves in about an hour. The kids and I will be hunkering down in our respective studies and enjoying the gorgeous weather. Please lift J up as he seeks to feed hungry spirits with bread that can't be bought.

When You Have No Yard...

2010-10-03T01:21:00.000-07:00

...you think small. Here the kids play with tiny Lego figures on our front porch/balcony.

Two Sons + One Daughter=This

2010-09-30T21:41:00.000-07:00

G's attempt to eek a little joy out of playing soldiers with her brothers.

'Tis the Season

2010-09-30T05:09:00.000-07:00

When the sun comes out, so does the laundry...

Then and Now

2010-09-28T22:24:00.000-07:00

First birthday.

Beloved blankie.

A joy to be around from the very beginning.

Breakfast staple--bananas and peanut butter toast.
Nine years old. Still sweet, generous, and responsible. We love you, baby. Happy Birthday.

Strictly Speaking

2010-09-28T04:17:00.001-07:00

Middle Son informed me today that he was feeling lemoncholy. Which, naturally, means that he's sad and sour with a high level of acidity.

Ah, my little old man. I do know what you mean.

Q:

2010-09-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

...Does it make me a dork that I love Rosetta Stone Hindi the way some people love Sudoku?

On second thought, don't answer that.

When You Can't Have A Dog

2010-09-25T23:37:00.001-07:00

Morning Has Broken

2010-09-23T23:59:00.001-07:00

It's official (uh, I think). Monsoon is over. The sun shines defiantly over our diamond lake. The air is clean and yellow with light. Gone is the grayness that hung over our city like a hospital blanket. Mold dies under the pressure-gaze of sunlight. Depression (my constant companion) weakens by the hour.

The Good Dad

2010-09-22T03:20:00.000-07:00

As a dad J is The Real Deal. Since he is human his kids get on his nerves sometimes, especially now that he spends more time working from home than he used to, and they are in his face a lot. But he's still a very good dad. Today he made the kids cardboard daggers which they colored and bejewelled gleefully. They are into playing battle these days for some reason. Maybe it's because our focus verses have been Ephesians 6: 10-12. Whatever the reason, at the moment they are skipping around the apartment making whooshing, slaying noises and then pausing to admire their weapons again.

Thanks, J, for being yourself. 'Cause you know I would never make a cardboard dagger, and that's no lie.

Different Strokes

2010-09-21T03:30:00.000-07:00

Today we spent a good part of the day with two like-minded Indian friends from our city. They're newlyweds and a great deal of fun to be around. Since they were with us over the lunch hour we offered them dhal chawal, chutney and salad.

The fun thing is, they're both from the village and they eat with their right hands. I mean they literally eat with their hands. All our Indian friends swear that skipping the silverware (or cutlery, as they call it) makes every food taste better. So today J and I decided that we'd let our friends teach us the fine art of eating rice and soupy dhal using only fingers.

You should have seen the look on our kids' faces when we told them that they could mash up their rice, pinch it, and plop it in their mouths. G's eyes shone as she breathed, "This is gonna be SO FUN." And it was. Turns out, though, that eating with your right hand (and it can only be your right hand since the left is used for bathroom purposes here in South Asia) requires a little more finesse than you might imagine.

In the end, we all agreed that eating without silverware does make meals more fun, if a little messy at this stage. We feel ready for the village now. Next time I have the chance to go to K-town, I'll be able to join everyone else and eat like a pro--on the floor, with my right hand.

Life

2010-09-20T04:39:00.000-07:00

We spent last week in another city, one that feels a lot like home for us. It was the first place we settled for awhile when we first came to India. It was so good to see familiar faces, both brown and white, and to catch up on the happenings in our dear friends' lives. The week flew too quickly and before we knew it, we found ourselves on the night train and on our way back home.

We came back to our city--one that had experienced unprecedented flooding and icy rain for days. Our landlady informed us, disapprovingly, that there had been no electricity coming to the apartment for days and no water. We climbed the stairs to find her absolutely correct. Our apartment was a dark, chilly cave. But, as usual, there were little sustaining mercies. The power came on for about 10 minutes once--just enough time to make a pot of (sorely-needed) coffee, and to check our e-mail. Then it was out again.

This lasted for about 36 hours, and then things righted themselves. The Lord is gracious and good all the time. We're washing and drying clothes now, watching the taps slowly begin to give full streams of water, and we're happy. Coming back to this city felt like coming home and we were grateful that our apartment sustained almost no damage from the rains.

Now I'm waiting for my homeschool curricula to arrive. The rains have slowed down the couriers. The kids are happy for the unexpected reprieve from phonics, history, and hand writing as we wait. I'll be back to studying my Hindi on my own again after quite a break. It pulls me back in, this language, like a giant invisible magnet, and I cannot stay away for too long.

Oldest Boy's birthday is on the 29th of this month and he eagerly awaits the momentous event--he's turning nine. But you'd think by his talk that he's turning 18. The kids are growing, our work is flourishing, and our hearts are changing, little by little.

Nan Devi

2010-09-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

A festival of the two-headed goddess. Men carry her through the city while people throw rice at her. Finally she's placed in the lake to drown. Not sure of all the significance, but I know it kept us from sleeping last night.

Home

2010-09-10T05:13:00.000-07:00

Daddy is home. Sigh. I can finally sleep again.

The Good, The Bad, and The Inappropriate

2010-09-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

A lot has been going on for our family lately. There's our friends leaving our city, the mystery plague we've all lovingly shared, and then today a riot which took place two buildings down from our apartment. (It has fizzled out so I'm not worried, but it was something to see, I can tell you).

J called from another village to tell me that things are going great there and that it's been one of the best experiences he's had--if not the best--in our 1.5 years here. That makes everything else seem worth it.

But on a lighter note, I went through some items my kids no longer use and I decided to send them downstairs so that my landlady could give them to those in need. She's Sikh and part of her religion involves helping the poor, so I thought this little arrangement would work out great.

But I'm also a ditz, as my sisters will tell you.

Wanna know something else about Sikhs? Sikhs don't cut their hair. It's quite literally against their religion. The men keep very long, neatly waxed beards and the women often have braids that fall to their knees. So I should not have said what I said next:

Me (after dropping off several garbage bags of clothes and toys): Thanks so much for taking these things from me. They were taking up too much space in the apartment. I feel like I've just gotten a haircut. I feel great!

My landlady (glassy-eyed):

Me (as my brain registers the faux pas and I whisper an involuntary crap): Ok, bye!

Yeah...

Update

2010-09-08T03:42:00.000-07:00

For those of you who asked, J is getting better every day. In fact, he left for the mountains tonight (with his boss) and will be gone for a couple of days. He still feels weak and shaky, but this assignment was too important to pass up or delay, so he's going in faith.

The medical professionals we talked to think that J (and now the rest of us) has been battling H1N1 (also known as Swine Flu) rather than Dengue. It is rampant around here these days because of monsoon, apparently. Anyway, I've been feeling bad the last two days (though not nearly as bad as J felt. Yay for mommunity). The kids have been complaining of aches and fatigue. And there's really nothing we can do except drink lots of (bottled) water, sleep, and take acetaminophen. Oh, and pray. We're doing all the above.

When we rise from the ashes, I'll let you know. Love.

Boo

2010-09-06T06:14:00.000-07:00

J is slowly getting better. Thank you for the prayers. Please keep them coming as I am tanking out now.

Crazy

2010-09-05T03:50:00.000-07:00

We are in crazyland right now. J feels wretched and has for a few days. We went to the doctor and he didn't know what was wrong. Long story short: it looked like J had Dengue Fever, but now it seems he has Swine Flu. Why 'seems,' you ask? Because we live in a small, remote town without great medical care. Even 'tests' run by doctors here are 'inconclusive' and unhelpful. Now I'm not making sweeping statements about all health care in this country. In mega cities people come from all over the world to participate in medical tourism because of relaxed government regulations (read: do it at your own risk) and amazingly low costs. It's just that most cities don't offer the health care that those few famous cities afford.

So we're waiting it out. J feels like his bones are broken. His joints hurt like mad, he has a fever and chills. I feel so bad for him but what can I do? No one ever called me Florence Nightingale. All I can do is give him generic acetaminophen (we're out of American Tylenol), try to let him sleep, and pray like anything that I'm not wiped out next. Would you pray that too? For me and the kids? And that J will heal quickly? He's got a job assignment to perform on Wednesday...

Movie Saturday

2010-09-04T04:30:00.000-07:00

J is sick with an ear infection. We needed peace and quiet today and so we decided to watch a movie, the new Alice in Wonderland, on our Mac. We used iTunes, which is pure genius when one lives overseas and has no access to Hollywood Video. I popped popcorn (over a gas flame) and we ate Indian chocolate. It was a raging success, all in all. And though I'm no feminist, I must admit that I pretty much loved the new Alice. That's mostly because I'm taken in by anything Tim Burton does. He really does know what my dreams are made of. Does that make me mad, I wonder? Hmmm...Perhaps it does.

Headlines

2010-09-02T03:48:00.000-07:00

All in a day's work, people...

Promises

2010-09-01T05:34:00.000-07:00

Phir Milenge, Hamare Pariwar

2010-08-31T09:37:00.000-07:00

Bon Voyage, Lovelies

2010-08-30T03:58:00.001-07:00

Still Worth It

2010-08-27T03:37:00.000-07:00

Our sweet friends and teammates are leaving India. Sometimes you gotta just get out and they are. But, oh, we'll miss them. They've struggled, laughed, cried, and worshiped with us. Their kids are ours and ours are theirs. We spent our first (very hard) Christmas away from family with them. C came bearing gifts that day and cooked in my dingy kitchen. She wore a smile when I could not.

She is the most consistently encouraging person I think I've ever met. She believes that life will work out and she makes me believe it too. She's a girl's girl, a listener, and a gift-giver. On my 32nd birthday she made me a little poster and wrote out Psalm 32 in glitter glue. It was a psalm of hope, of love, and of a future and I loved it more than the store bought presents I received.

JM is a thinker and a doer. He believes in things passionately and he cares about people. He has laughed with my J, been a friend, accompanied and worked with him to do things that seem impossible. He stood in the gap for us here when we were away in the States. He's been an uncle to our boys. He's listened to them when they talk on and on about video games, and taught them lessons from the Bible as we all sat on the couch.

JM and C's little girls will leave a hole in my heart and in G's, especially. Those little imps are lit up from the inside, full of laughter, and mischief and emotion. How many times have we spent with all six kids around the table, watching them eat as they try to make each other laugh and spit out their juice?

Love is painful. But it is still worth it.

Go with God, friends. Thank you for making an imprint on our hearts and on the hearts of our Indian friends. We love you.

A Day Like This

2010-08-25T05:16:00.000-07:00

Today is a sad day. Some days just are. I want to cry, but no tears will come...

Happy Birthday, Indian-Style

2010-08-24T06:58:00.000-07:00

Around the birthday table.

Party game. Guess who the white kids are?

Three faiths represented in this photo.

The birthday boy, his brother, and his dad. We live with them.

Highlights of this one-year-old birthday party:

As all the kids passed a balloon around a circle, trying to not get stuck with it, I heard the song lyrics, 'Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me.' I'm not even kidding.

Our landlord introduced me to a woman whose daughter "lives in the States." When I asked her where in the US she's located, the woman answered, "Switzerland." Ah yes, I see...

When people were milling about, eating and making conversation, what was playing on the CD player? Shakira. Shakira, folks. I'm sure the one-year-old absolutely loves her.

An American Education

2010-08-23T05:39:00.000-07:00

J had an unpleasant but necessary conversation with our landlords and their families the other night. See, they are in our business beyond anything we've ever experienced. They ask me a hundred questions--really, it's more like the Spanish Inquisition--every time J travels anywhere. I end up feeling like my back's against the wall and no answer that I give (i.e. He's working, he's with friends, he's got a meeting, he's doing business) is ever good enough for them.

They give their opinions about the wisdom of traveling to certain towns, traveling during monsoon, traveling with the friends we've chosen and trust. They ask us how much money we make, how much our driver charges us, whether our children miss their daddy when he's gone. They speak sternly, eyebrows knitted together, with an air of authority. They invoke their elder status. In short, they feel a great deal of ownership over us and our decision-making, and they try to exert their will.

I got to the point where I felt I could not stand it any longer. So J decided that it was time to gently inform them that this isn't acceptable. All things considered, the whole conversation went well. They back-pedaled some, said that they were only concerned for our safety, etc.. J was able to communicate that while he appreciates this, the third degree is still not ok. Our job will not change. We will take risks in our lives, and we have counted the cost of our profession. They seemed to hear it all, though I have no doubt we'll have a reprise of this conversation in the future if the past is any indication.

So today was about showing love, declaring that we have no hard feelings with actions because words are cheap. We spent the entire day decorating their front room for a birthday party they plan to have tomorrow. In fact, J is still working at the moment.

At midday, when our eldest landlord came home for lunch, we sat and made conversation with him. It was the first time I'd seen him since The Talk. He was slightly grumpy, baggy-eyed, short and terse. I knew he was nursing his wounded pride. After all, how dare we thirty-something, whippersnapper Americans set boundaries around our personal life with our elders? Who are we to talk with such confidence and optimism and look people in the eye as if the world belonged to us? We who neglect our offspring by allowing them to wear t-shirts and not woolen coats in 72 degree weather! We who drink cold juice in the winter and hot coffee in the summer! We who sometimes go without socks in the house!

It's sheer madness is what it is. Just who do we think we are?

Well, it shouldn't have come as a surprise, but it still stung a little when Eldest Landlord looked at all the decorations we'd spent the day putting on the walls--at the behest of the women of the family--and he muttered, "It should be more...colorful..." I wanted to look him in the eye and say, "You are totally welcome to climb on that rickety-crap ladder of yours and put up better decorations. But then, you'll have to find them in the market first, and I defy you to find ones that don't look like they're made from toilet paper."

But you know, I didn't say that.

I tried to let it roll off instead. I feel like we've tried to be as Indian as two white people can be. I dress like the locals, we eat Indian food, and we speak Hindi. But in the end, we're American. And I guess I'm starting to think that it's ok if our landlords try to understand us a little for a change. Goodness knows we've spent 17 months trying to understand their mindset and hearts and we don't regret it. As long as they look at us and see Him first and America a distant second...Well, I'm becoming more and more ok with that.

Twice As Good

2010-08-21T04:00:00.001-07:00

I'm so glad to have J back. I'll steal an idea from my favorite singer/thinker/feeler, Sara Groves. With you everything's half as hard and twice as good, babe, and I love you.

Faces We Love

2010-08-20T05:19:00.000-07:00

Tricky

2010-08-19T02:47:00.000-07:00

The power was out last night but there were no rats and the kids did not roam around. J called to tell me there are some 'complications' happening (associated with his work) and he and his partner need wisdom. Tricky, folks. Tricky.

It's That Time

2010-08-18T05:44:00.000-07:00

J is gone for a couple of days. I know the drill. Could you pray?

Too Cool For You

2010-08-16T23:22:00.000-07:00

What's in a Name?

2010-08-16T04:10:00.000-07:00

Oldest Son: I wonder what my wife's name will be...
Middle Son: Mine's name will be Killer.
Youngest Daughter: Well, my husband's name will be Puny 'cause he's going to be small.
Me: Then I'm going to have weird son-and-daughters-in-law.
Youngest Daughter: Ok, then. I guess my husband will just be normal and ripe.
Oldest Son: Ripe? Are you going to pluck him from a husband tree?
Youngest: Yes.

Booyah!

2010-08-14T02:19:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah. Oooooh yeah. Last night J and I were watching an episode of '24,' a new favorite of ours. We were sipping decaf and I was trying to unwind from a difficult day. Suddenly we heard a loud snap! and squealing. We ran into the living room and there he was. A jumbo-sized, bright-eyed, mouse-like thing. I say mouse-like because it really didn't look like any mouse I'd ever seen. We had already killed it's cousin (see below posts). Now it was his turn.

I admit to you that I felt a stab of remorse as we drowned him five minutes later. A stab, not an overwhelming weight, mind you. I love my husband a little more than I did two days ago, though, because he felt terrible. Don't misunderstand, he hates rodents with a fierce passion. But when he saw Mouse-Thing drowning (and the man could not tear himself away from the death scene), he felt guilty, sort-of.

I reminded him that if we let the varmint go, he'd come straight back into our apartment. He would poop everywhere...He had to be removed permanently. As Jack Bauer would say, we had ourselves a situation. And then I reminded him that this wasn't my first go-around with rodent killing. It gets easier. Some of you may remember that about a year ago, I killed a large, long-toothed mole with white eyes. I felt bad about it, even as my grateful friends called me a rock star. It was repulsive. But I got over it. And this time I only cringed a little.

As I told my husband last night, it was Mouse-Thing or me, y'all. Him or me.

Triggers

2010-08-13T03:08:00.000-07:00

I have a skin condition called Rosacea. Some people think it's related to an autoimmune disorder and I'm inclined to agree. It makes my skin supremely sensitive, blotchy at any given moment, and hostile to ordinary facial products. I can cover it up and look normal, but I always know it's there. Sometimes, a food I ate, or extreme temperatures, or stress will cause my smooth, normal-looking skin to become an inferno of pin-prick pain.

Lately I've been thinking that my sin condition is a lot like having Rosacea. Certain situations trigger the badness in me. They don't cause it, of course. It's always there of it's own accord. But a series of unfortunate events, or a cultural clash, or even homeschooling can bring it out in all it's ugly glory. Today (well, ok, for several days), I've been in a full-on sin flare. I am short-tempered, sarcastic, cynical, irritable, and depressed. My kids have caught the brunt of it. What do you mean you forgot how to count by fours? That is super easy and you can do it in your sleep. Pay attention or I'll lose my mind! Come ON!

And then I have the painful misfortune of seeing hurt and resentment in their eyes. And I'll know I've failed again. I'll feel like I can't do this life. I can't be what people (especially my kids) need me to be. And so it goes.

The only thing that causes my Rosacea to calm down when something has triggered a flare is to wait it out. To try to stop doing whatever it was that brought my skin to this point and exhale. The tricky part of living this life, however, is that I can't just stop it even if I feel like it's exposing and exacerbating my sin. It's painful. It burns. It feels like it won't quit. But I testify to this truth in my life and I hope you know it too:

For you, O LORD, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you. Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace. In the day of my trouble I call upon you, for you answer me.
Psalm 86: 5-7 ESV

So how do I deal with a sin-flare? Avoid the triggers? Escape to easier fields? I ask for more grace, that's what I do. The worse it is, the more I ask. And He answers me. Thank God.

Surrender

2010-08-12T01:34:00.000-07:00

Remember surrender,
Remember the rest.
Remember that weight lifting off of your chest.
And realizing that it's not up to you and it never was...

Remember surrender,
Remember relief.
Remember how tears rolled down both of your cheeks.
As the warmth of a heavenly father came closing in...

I want to do that again.
Why can't I live there
And make my home?
In sweet surrender
I want to do so much more than remember...

Remember surrender,
Remember the peace.
Remember how soundly you fell fast asleep.
In the face of your troubles your future still shone like the morning sun...

Remember surrender,
Remember that sound.
Of all of those voices dying down
But one who speaks clearly of helping and healing you deep within...

I want to do that again.
Why can't I live there
And make my home?
In sweet surrender
I want to do so much more than remember...

Remember
Oh, surrender...

I want to do that again.
Oh why can't I live there and make my home?
In sweet surrender
I want to do so much more than remember...

Remember.
Remember surrender,
Remember the rest.
Remember that weight lifting off of your chest.
And realizing that it's not up to you and it never was...

Remember Surrender, Sara Groves

Testing, One Two Three...

2010-08-11T04:16:00.000-07:00

I have not been uplifting in a while. I know this. I'm sorry, but this blog will be about real life or nothing at all. So to sum up today:

rat poop all over our kitchen floor (after finding one in the toilet two days ago).
mold in all the curtains.
mold in the bathroom such that I had to throw out my Clinique makeup bag, all of our toothbrushes, and scour my mouth guard container.
mold in the kids' bathroom.
burst pipe in the kids' bathroom which is, at the typing of this blog post, flooding the floor. Then why am I posting, you ask? Because there's not enough room in there for me to be useful.

I feel hard pressed. I feel harassed. I feel like we're being tested. I hope I pass this one.

Dryer

2010-08-10T04:26:00.000-07:00

Our dryer is fixed. PTL! I love the smell of our laundry now. It's soft and fluffy and smells vaguely of Snuggle fabric softener. Before it smelled vaguely of mildew and I-don't-know-what. It's the little things, y'all.

Yesterday we did something scandalous. We started a load of laundry at 3:00 p.m. because we could. We knew that it wouldn't have to hang out on the balcony without enough sunlight and that we could dry it immediately. I was stupidly happy. So even though we've had other things happen that are decidedly uncool, this wasn't one of them.

Control+Alt+Delete

2010-08-09T01:21:00.000-07:00

This was what greeted us this morning. Well, this and bugs and leaks in the kids' bathroom.

Public Trash

2010-08-06T04:28:00.001-07:00

Ok, so my landlady came up today to say hello, to look at our new shelves, and to...drum roll...tell me that they went through our trash and noticed we had thrown away some perfectly good coloring books and other books. She requested that I not do that anymore because they would take stuff we don't want in the future.

But here's the thing: we were warned that sometimes it's offensive to offer your old stuff to people from upper castes. They take it as an insult. We didn't want to create any more tension than already exists between us and our Indian wardens, er, family. Plus, we already have three or four garbage bags worth of stuff to give away to underprivileged people we know. So we thought it was safest and easiest to just get rid of things this time.

Apparently, no. I don't hate our landlords and their families. I know it sounds like I do. I'm just in a complaining mode and I'm screaming, through the blogosphere, Going through our garbage, really? Even our trash isn't private? Can I get a witness??

*collecting my breath*

Someone Else's Story

2010-08-05T07:23:00.001-07:00

The kids and I are, once again, reading C.S. Lewis' classic series The Chronicles of Narnia. We're currently working on The Horse and His Boy, which I think is my favorite. There's a line in it, steeped in theology, where the little protagonist, Shasta, asks the great Aslan why he allowed sorrow and suffering to occur in his friend's life. Aslan's reply resonates in my mind, and echoes of it haunt me as I live in a land characterized by suffering. Indeed, I've asked my Aslan many times why such things should exist. His answer:

"Child," said the Voice, "I am telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own."

I have to remember that or perish. While I can participate in someone else's story-- am commanded to--I cannot know the end of it or control what becomes of him or her. That belongs to Someone whose thoughts and ways are higher than mine. Selah.

Here's Hoping

2010-08-04T04:04:00.000-07:00

We had shelves delivered to our apartment yesterday. It makes me so happy to have all of our books and our kids' toys up off the floor and in neat rows. I wanted to hang out my bedroom and the kids' room just so I could obsessively observe the extra floor space.

Then today I knew I had to go downstairs and talk to my landladies. They've been a little passive aggressive and manipulative to me lately because I'm busier than I used to be and less inclined to hear their many opinions. So honestly I would rather have had a root canal than have another fireside chat about why it's been so many days since I came down. But I knew I needed to and I prayed that I could do it out of love and not a sense of misplaced guilt. I went down expecting the third degree...and I got it. But I was also able to say, We love you, we are busy, everything's fine, let's have no hard feelings. They seemed to hear it this time.

I sincerely hope so.

Who Knew I Could Be This Happy?

2010-08-02T04:23:00.001-07:00

Oh, man, was today great. For starters, J is home and his time away was very productive. Good things are happening (!) and we see forward momentum in this area of the country. He also took some gorgeous, heartbreaking photos which we'll post on FB soon.

Ok, but I'm going to be honest: the best part of all of it (at least at the moment) is that we ordered a clothes dryer and it arrived today! J installed it without killing himself, burning down the apartment, or causing a power outage. Now I'm not gonna lie. This dryer looks like it was specially designed for Little People. Even our kids were like, man, that thing is super small. It gets very hot on the top. So hot that you have to wonder...And then there's the fact that it dries clothes to the beat of Queen's 'We will, we will, rock you.' Duh, duh, chhhh. Duh, duh, chhhh.

But since I threw out a pillowcase because it was polka dotted with black mold today, I'll take the beat boxing and teeny loads. Plus our towels no longer crunch when we try to fold them.

Update: G's head smells very like my parents' Yorkie, James, after he's been to the dog groomer. I'm assuming it's because of her "special" shampoo. Sheesh. And, *drumroll* our dryer already needs a technician. Gotta love these quality Indian products. I think J's gonna blow his top, people.

I Was Right

2010-07-31T07:42:00.000-07:00

Remember how I said that things happen when Daddy is away? Ok, well, maybe you thought I was overreacting. Maybe, just a little, right? And I can see why you might assume that. So I wanted to give you the update. So far

The electricity was out all last night, which meant that the kids woke up and wandered around because their fan was off. Which meant that I didn't sleep well at all.
My landlord gave me down the road today because he didn't like where J had gone, didn't think it was a good place to be, etc. As if that weren't bad enough, my landlady sat next to me, glumly, and sniffed her sadness/disapproval that I haven't been down to see her regularly enough in the last two weeks. She managed to say in Hindi (at one point), "Well, look who has time for us today!"
And--wait for it--I found lice in G's head tonight. And out of all of the above, that is what almost made me cry.

But I can't write about that last bit of madness unless I also include D's trip to the chemist shop for me. And then the fact that the washer women sneaked upstairs to my apartment (servants are not allowed upstairs by our landlords and she was nervous) and explained exactly how to use the oil/shampoo combo for G. She is the salt of the earth, that one. And then she sneaked back down almost before I could say thanks.

C'est le guerre

2010-07-30T04:37:00.000-07:00

Well, J and J made it safely to their destination despite rain and fog. I'm glad, I really am. But I've been homeschooling three froggy, wild-eyed, zany kids today and they somehow know that without Daddy I possess exactly half my parenting strength. And so, instead of being extra good and sweet and cooperative, they are being extra whiny, extra contentious, and extra bratty. So pardon me if my mood is a little...testy, shall we say. Sigh.

C'est la vie, non? Well, c'est le guerre, les enfants. C'est le guerre.

Imprints

2010-07-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

Long after we return to the States these images will linger on in our imaginations.

Remember Us

2010-07-29T03:55:00.000-07:00

J leaves tomorrow with a friend to attend a big 'meeting' in another city. It's been a long time in coming and we anticipate good things to come from it. Please remember him this weekend (he'll be gone for 2 1/2 days) and ask for traveling mercies. Remember us, too, as we'll be left at home. Sometimes crazy things go on for Mom and the kids when Daddy is out of town. But then, there's always a push me-pull you effect whenever good things happen or are on the brink of happening. A counter-effect or downward drag. It's the way of things here and we have come to expect it. Still, if people are praying ...

Hamne Aram Kia

2010-07-28T04:00:00.000-07:00

The sleepover went well, we laughed a lot, and the kids had fun. We are all safe and the day has passed uneventfully. If anything unusual happens in the next few hours, I'll let you know.

Sleepover

2010-07-27T08:11:00.000-07:00

The entire 'M' family is staying the night with us tonight. Our town is a bit wack-tastic at the moment, so we thought we'd have a team sleepover. We are going to have fun tonight!

Blech

2010-07-26T04:18:00.000-07:00

Today has been a rough-ish day. Everyone is physically ok so there's no need to worry. But please, if you think of it, lift us up today.

Little Miss Thing

2010-07-24T00:42:00.000-07:00

For Mamaw and Papaw who bought this dress for G.

On a Clear Day...

2010-07-23T04:20:00.000-07:00

Today there was NO RAIN. Things were able to dry out and there was a smidge of sunshine. It made a difference and for that we are grateful.

Breakfast at Tiffany's

2010-07-22T05:30:00.000-07:00

J and I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's last night, and all I can say is, that movie is so much sadder than I remembered. I've watched it (with my two faithful sisters) approximately 1,000,000 times since early high school. Each time I swooned over Holly Golightly's clothes, her lipstick, her wonderful blond streaks. I loved her quirkiness and her rail-thinness. And what about that Paul Varjak?

But this time I watched it and even when the two stars kissed at the end, and we knew they'd be together, with cat in tow, I felt sad and dull. Because they were both so damaged and were carrying enough baggage between the two of them to be charged extra by Delta. When the credits rolled I just hugged J and thanked the Lord once again that I've been with the most normal, kind, compassionate, consistent guy I know for 12 years and counting.

But I'll still take Holly's clothes...