I sat in the sun with my landladies today. We talked about America, babies, marriage, hair dye, poor people, and how much we like each other. I was keenly aware of how much my Hindi still lacks. Words I need just don't roll off my tongue when I want them to sometimes. I'm tempted to view my conversations in terms of how well I speak Hindi at any given time. That one was a C-plus. Come on, H, get it together...But that's not how my landladies see it. They see me coming downstairs and interacting with them. They see me looking like a fool as I try to say what's on my mind, and sometimes what's on my heart. And they are happy.
I know that I need to stop focusing on my progress, on what I can and cannot do. I need to stop looking inward and seeing my conversations as a means to an end. I need to water the seeds of my fledgling relationships with openness, laughter, tears, and if need be, broken Hindi. I need to remember what's really important. It's not perfect Hindi (though wouldn't I love to be able to speak flawlessly!) God and people--those are who matter in the end.
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