Clash of the Cultures

I love India on some days, like it on others, feel neutral still other days. And then, sometimes I hate it. Well, that was two days ago. It was a baaad India day. Then I sort-of got over it and was neutral again.

But then today...See, now, this is the kind of thing that makes me insane. Last night my landlady came up to our apartment and chatted with me. I hadn't been down that day to 'study Hindi,' which is more about conversation and putting in face time than it is about conjugating verbs. Anyway, she stared reproachfully into my eyes and asked me why I hadn't visited. I felt defensive. I muttered something about how long it takes to homeschool my kids and then feed them. And then there's the fact that my husband is out of town.

I don't feel like I should have to give these excuses. I see her often enough and she knows that I care about her. I wanted to say, "Look, in America people give each other a little breathing room, you know? Like, it's ok if we don't sit and talk for two hours every day..." But in the end I found myself promising to come down the next day to study.

So I did. Today, even though I saw that there were a lot of people milling around in her courtyard, I went downstairs, book in hand, to meet Dolly. I pasted on a cheerful smile and determined to have a good time, even though J is gone, the kids were upstairs watching a movie, and I have a guest in my home at the moment. I figured that if I didn't keep my word, it would mean more unacceptable explanations later.

Do you know what I found? I found a house where the women were bustling around, busy with work, and no time to study Hindi. I wanted to say, "See? Sometimes days are like this and I'm not going to hold it against you that you don't have time. Why don't you do the same for me and assume I have a good reason when I don't come downstairs? Kay? Kay?" Instead I said, "I can see you're busy. I'll come back another time." And Dolly's reply? "Yes, we're quite busy. Maybe on Monday would be good." Absolutely no I'm-sorry-I-guilted-you-yesterday-and-then-had-no-time-for-you-today.

Those are just the rules, people. Different place, different codes. And today I just felt like a (peeved) fish out of water.