On days like today I just want to go home. Not India home--U.S. home. It's strange, really, because nothing big ever precipitates these moods. It's not as if life suddenly changes and gets harder. I'll just wake up one day, and feel that deep-blue yearning to be among friends again.
I mean, we have friends here. We don't live on an island. But it's just, you know, different. And I know I can't go home, so maybe that frees me up a little, to yearn without implications. Holly Golightly addresses this very state in Breakfast at Tiffany's. She calls it "the mean reds."
Mean reds, indeed.
Amen, sister. I'm feelin it today...bleh. ;)
ReplyDeleteOh I understand. Sometimes I weep to go home to be with my brother. I mean, I'm at home here in NY but it's not really my home, it's Joe's.
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful he understands even though he cannot relate.
I'm tearing up for you now; more importantly, praying for you.
love you all dearly.
I understand. I love you.
ReplyDeleteOh Nain. I've set up home in the mean reds. Sort of like Wesley saying the Fire Swamp would be a nice summer home. I love you more than you know. I'll do a good post in TPR tonight. Look for it...
ReplyDeleteI think about your kids. How awesome their mindsets are going to be after living abroad and in such a poor, Jesus starved place. I know you have awesome parents and I can imagine how awesome of a parent you are. I know you've tried to teach them to be mindful and sympathetic to the poor and that they are so lucky to have been born in the US. But think about the unspoken lesson they learn everyday being there and seeing what they see. You'll never have to tell them again that there are poor people and that people need Jesus. They can and will continue to see it. What a great thing for kids to learn early, before they think there is a certain name they have to have on their jeans or their shoes. And when they grow up and have to pay their own bills and raise their own kids...what a great frame of mind you all have started them out with. Then, think about your grandkids! Even if they never leave the US, they will have a first hand account of the money poor and Jesus poor...better than other kids that are just told to eat their peas because kids in China are starving. I know how close you are to your sisters and parents and it makes me tear up when I read your messages to each other. But you're already raising awesome grandkids! I hope that might help a sliver on some days!
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