Hands and Feet

I have been sick today. The gross kind of sick and I've been lolling in my bed as my stomach pitches and rolls. A few minutes ago, Dolly (my landlady and surrogate mother) came up to our apartment to inquire after me. We had missed our Hindi conversation today and she was worried.

I explained to her what had gone on--she wanted every gory detail--and then, with a look of determination I have seen on my own mother's face, went back downstairs to get:

1. a hot water bottle
2. some sloppy watery porridge the thought of which makes me dry-heave
3. some medicine prescriptions.

She reminded us that proper food consumption is necessary. She said, in essence, 'Say the word and I'll make you something.'

It's humbling to know that He uses the hands and feet of those who don't even know him. Amazing.

Sparkly Side

This afternoon I had a wonderful conversation time with my landlady. She told me she wanted to try coffee from our "percolator" as she loves to call it. It was very straight-forward of her and I was most pleased. For once I know exactly what she wants and I can provide it. After we decided on a time to have American coffee together she presented me with some sparkly bangles she'd bought for me in the market. She explained that married women always wear them and that it was custom to not 'go around with bare arms if one can help it.' When I saw them I impulsively hugged her neck. Anyone who knows me well knows that I swoon for the sparkly side of life. She could tell I was genuinely delighted. It was a good day.

They Bleed Blue...

I--age 8.5

C--age 7

G--almost 6

Taking a Breather...

Taking a moment to pose. I absolutely hate people staring while we freeze for the camera...

Our beautiful, breezy lake.

C is hilariously protective of G these days, as evidenced by his hand on her fanny.

Daddy and G on the boat.

These two are gems.

No Strings Attached

We have hit a wall of exhaustion and the blues these days. Our kids aren't concentrating in school, we as parents are grouchy and easily annoyed. All in all, we need to press the 'reset' button in our lives and we just need sleep. So this is what we're going to do--we're going to do nothing for the next few days except spend time together with no strings attached. I think it's going to help.

Eye Candy

Dilsara Turns Twenty

We celebrated by taking her to lunch at a swanky hotel. She had never been anywhere so fancy, and she said she felt like a 'film actress.' Sweet.

Another Trip to the Barber Shop

Words

Words mean something. They're important. But as I try to memorize and nail down words in another language, I sometimes need to be reminded why they're important. God calls Jesus 'the Word made flesh,' and I guess that elevates communication to a pretty high position. And since He gave us this means of expressing ourselves, I need to value it, use words wisely, and pursue this language with determination. In the end, it's infinitely worth it.

God and People

I sat in the sun with my landladies today. We talked about America, babies, marriage, hair dye, poor people, and how much we like each other. I was keenly aware of how much my Hindi still lacks. Words I need just don't roll off my tongue when I want them to sometimes. I'm tempted to view my conversations in terms of how well I speak Hindi at any given time. That one was a C-plus. Come on, H, get it together...But that's not how my landladies see it. They see me coming downstairs and interacting with them. They see me looking like a fool as I try to say what's on my mind, and sometimes what's on my heart. And they are happy.

I know that I need to stop focusing on my progress, on what I can and cannot do. I need to stop looking inward and seeing my conversations as a means to an end. I need to water the seeds of my fledgling relationships with openness, laughter, tears, and if need be, broken Hindi. I need to remember what's really important. It's not perfect Hindi (though wouldn't I love to be able to speak flawlessly!) God and people--those are who matter in the end.

Change

Nothing stays the same except Him. Please help us to bend with the changes, Lord. Help us to bend so we don't break.

Test

Well, I haven't exactly been shy about it, so most of you already know: I made the level on my exam that I had aimed for. It was such a relief to get the e-mail telling me I had succeeded! I am ready to move on to other obsessions. Thanks so much for pr*ying for me and my family. We are doing well and getting back to normal, whatever that is!

Temper

Our middle son, C, after a long time-out session: Mom, you have no idea how hard it is to be a kid. Especially if you're the guy with the hottest temper.

Oh my sweet. You have no idea how much I do know.

My Inclination

There's something I need to confess
At the risk of exposing my faults
But I'm starting to find that most of the time
I just don't like people at all.
When I saw you five minutes ago
I was afraid you might talk off my ear.
I panicked inside and decided to hide
And that's how I ended up here...

Crouching behind the live lobster tank
Hoping you'd just pass me by, oh...

That's how I ended up here.
That's how I ended up here.

Oh how I wish I could say
It's my first time to hide in this spot
But with all of the people I try to avoid
I find myself down here a lot.
I mean, just look at these guys in the tank
With the red rubber bands 'round their arms.
If they don't open up
And just keep to themselves
They won't do anyone harm.

So I screen my calls, don't answer the doors
Sometimes I wish I could disappear, oh...

That's how I ended up here.
That's how I ended up...

Building a wall so that no one could bother me
Living my life in isolation
Opening up to only those close to me
Nobody's close to me, what have I done?

See, I really want to be known
But I'm not quite as strong as the fear
That you won't understand the fool that I am

And that's how I ended up here
That's how I ended up here...
That's how I ended up here.

How I Ended Up Here, Jason Gray

Lord, please don't let me end up there.

Because I Miss Home These Days...

I love you, Dad.

Shant

It means 'peace.'

Normal

I spent today talking to loved ones, eating normal food, and crying. The last ten days have been very stressful, though there were good times, too. And sometimes, if I don't cry, I can't get back to normal. So there you have it. I'm trying to get back to normal. And it isn't easy.

Sigh

We are back. I couldn't be happier. D is making our favorite, dhal and rice with chicken. I look forward to

• Getting back into some sort of routine
• Sleeping
• Getting my exam results. But not necessarily in that order.

I'll check in tomorrow.

Long Time, No Read

Soooo, long time, no blog, eh? In the meantime I:

• Studied like a crazy. Not a crazy person. Just a crazy.
• Took a Hindi test, got through it, thought I did well-ish, developed stomach problems right afterward, and then recovered after that.
• Tried to keep my kids busy and on track school-wise while living out of a hotel room for ten days.
• Tried not to kill aforementioned kids.
• Met with a ton of old friends.
• Survived some emotional drama.
• Ate at McDonald's until I truly didn't love it anymore.

We go back to our city on Thursday morning, and I couldn't be more ready. Thank you so much for your prayers, support, and sweet FB messages. I think I did well on my test. I'll know for sure by early next week and I'll let you all know.

Love.

A Week Away

We are taking a week to do a language intensive in another city. After that, I have to take a big ol' language exam. I'd rather have a molar pulled, but it can't be helped. We might have internet while we're there, or we might not. So just in case: ciao for now. Pray for me on March 6th. Love!