Last night, as we were trying to continue painting walls for all we are worth, we received some disappointing news. We got our 'language level assessments' back from the evaluator (via e-mail) and we discovered that we didn't do as well as we'd hoped. It wasn't that we did poorly, just not as well as we thought we would.
There are several possible reasons for this. Maybe we choked when taking the test (I know I couldn't open my mouth as fast as I wanted to for the recording and felt tongue-tied the whole time). Maybe we were stressed and tired. Or maybe we thought we knew Hindi better than we do.
I for one was incredibly sad last night. I'm in a new place and that's stressful enough. But then to feel that my months of hard work didn't show for the test? Well, I cried in my freezing cold bedroom for a long time.
Of course, the difference between people who learn languages, win marathons, or parent well-- and those who don't--is often what they decide to do the moment after they've been smacked down. They either tell themselves a sad little story and give up, or they regroup and start again.
On that note, I've decided that today is the first day of the rest of my Hindi-learning life. And I know that with the Lord, sub thik hoga.
Hang in there! Remember how far you have come in what is really so little time! You are also a mom of three children who need your love and attention in the midst of everything else! Dust yourself off and move on....it's the enemy who wants you to be discouraged!!! :)
ReplyDeleteIn less than a year you have done so much! More life-changing events than many have in a lifetime (not to mention doing so with your precious babies). Now that you will really be immersed with people, you are going to flourish with your language!
ReplyDeleteContinuing to pray for you dear.
Love, Aileen
P.S. an unfortunate truth about English is that we only have one "you" and there is no way to differentiate between singular and plural. Please note that when I uses "you" above it includes Jon. :)
Hannah--I find this so inspirational. You are right about making a decision to frame the experience right after a smack down. I need to do the same thing in my own way. I love you. I'm in awe of you. You are doing great, and will continue to do great. Praise the Lord.
ReplyDeleteNo worries!!! That holy reminder that you have living inside can bring to mind the most amazing amounts of foreign language............at more important times than a test !!! You just be the student.........let Him be the applicator!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing great! Hope He blesses your socks off today!
I am so proud of you. Learning, as I tell my students, takes place over time. You can't determine how much time that will be needed for the tasks at hand. You will continue to blossom and learn and grow and nothing will be waisted, nothing. KOKO! Love you always!!!!
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"When you are depressed, because it feels like everything is going against you, you are almost always unable to see signs of hope... God has ordained that hard times are to come into your life, and your emotions are sinking lower and lower, your vision is becoming very impaired. Naomi could not see signs of hope... that's what happens to you, by the way, which is one reason why you need each other, why being together in ministry is so crucial. You try to go off by yourself and do ministry you're gonna crash... if you don't have somebody coming in your darkness, and just gently, not in a cavalier way, saying 'Praise God anyhow,' but in a deep, strong, earnest, biblical way, take you by the neck and say, 'I know you can't see hope right now, but I can, and I am with you, you will see it soon.' That's what has to happen." --J.Piper, Ruth: Sweet and Bitter Providence
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